“A deadly pandemic could shut down Melbourne as we know it.
Public transport could be terminated, AFL games cancelled and the casino, schools and office towers forced to close.
It has been predicted that the first wave of a pandemic could cause 10,000 deaths in Victoria. But families and friends may not be able to publicly mourn lost loved ones, because funeral services could be stopped as part of policy of “social distancing”.
While Ebola is currently the focus of public fear – with a doctor in New York testing positive for Ebola on Friday – an influenza pandemic is considered far more likely to cause mass deaths and panic in Melbourne.”
Is the reporter on crack?
It’s COVID-NINETEEEEEEEEN! Not Ebola.
But wait, this is an article from 2014. Written nearly 6 YEARS AGO!
In a scenario that has been “seriously considered and prepared for by all levels of the Australian government”, (I’m sure) Melbourne City Council devised its own detailed Influenza Pandemic Action Plan.
Said plan was obtained by The Age using freedom-of-information laws, to discover that the document describes the following:
Businesses should prepare for up to 50 per cent of their staff to be absent, as workers fall ill or stay at home to care for the infected.
At first the most vulnerable are expected to include homeless people and single-parent families. But as the pandemic takes hold new potential victims could emerge.
There could be orphaned children, the so-called “worried well” and the newly unemployed who have lost their jobs as a result of a pandemic-prompted economic downturn.
Due to restrictions on large gatherings, funeral directors may have to videotape services so friends of the deceased can watch the event online on home computers.
Cancelling big events could be appropriate in a pandemic.
“The Plan” also details the likely location of six “Mass Vaccination Centers”. Those who go to the centers will have to bring their Medicare card, birth certificates or other documents to prove they are in the “priority group” for vaccination.
Imagine my surprise…
Or should I say sur…rise. Because p’s and b’s are soon going to be verboten too. No more wishing each other a ha……y …irth…ay.
You see, English is a spitty language. And obviously Corona is a spitty disease, spread by spitty Brits, Amerikans, Kanadians, Aussies and Kiwis.
That must also be why China is partying hard in Wuhan – without masks. Because the most terrifying and destructive disease in the world, ever, now seems to come down to whether you’re speaking a spitty language.
But don’t worry, spitty or not, Covid won’t get you while you’re maskless and dining out. But watch out for the sneaky little devil when you’re cycling or surfing or walking your dog.
Lucy is rolling around, laughing her little Chihuahua a$$ off at the many examples of covidiocy on today’s Lucy and Jeff Show.
Join The Dollar Vigilante community of spitty and non-spitty speakers AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Because who knows what skills COVAIDS will develop over the next few days or weeks? Can’t wait to find out. It’s sure to be impressive!
Andy Weir wrote, “It’s a simple idiot-proofing scheme that’s very effective. But no idiot-proofing can overcome a determined idiot.”
I have nothing to add to that…